Home > Theatre > Brother Pete and the Multi-Level Marketing Fundraiser Monologue

Brother Pete and the Multi-Level Marketing Fundraiser Monologue

BROTHER PETE
By Jeff Folschinsky

BROTHER PETE
Genesis 2, verse 2: And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And how did he recover from this great work which he had made you ask? Why he indulged in a Tamakeri Energy Drink that’s how.

Tamakeri Energy Drink, filled with herbs and juices from the ancient orient that revitalizes the body and the soul, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes it does. Why just ask Mr. Jacobson and his lovely wife if the Tamakeri Energy Drinks didn’t change their lives forever and he will say oh yes, oh yes, oh yes it did. Because just last week brothers and sisters, his wife has giving birth to eight healthy sons and daughters, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes she did, hallelujah. And now for the first time ever this non-FDA approved holy tonic is available here in our lovely town.

Brother Pete you’re probably asking yourself; how may I get a hold of this fine product? Well as it so happens brothers and sisters, thanks to the fine works of Mr. Johansson, Brother Pete has set himself up a little direct sale, multi-level marketing business here at this church, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes he did. So let the revitalizing miracle of Tamakeri flow forth and over take you, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes let it.

But why stop there brothers and sister? When Brother Pete would be happy to help you set you up as your own independent business owner status and provide you Tamakeri Energy Drinks at discounted prices. Where you my loving flock could then go forth and help spread the good word of Tamakeri, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes you can.

Brothers and sisters lets pass the plate and when it passes you. I ask you not to put in money but to take one of the sign up and information forms, about becoming a Tamakeri salesperson. Because brothers and sisters, Brother Pete has used all the churches funds for this new business venture, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes he did and he needs help fast. So let us all now bow our heads and prey.

Dear lord on high, hear our prayers. May Tamakeri catch on with the general public, especially in the key demographic group of eighteen to twenty eight years of age. May it also overcome the bad press it has recently received on television where that hateful reporter demonstrated some of the side effects from the continual consumption of Tamakeri Energy drinks. I think we can all recognize hack reporting when we see it, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we can. And also may the authorities find out what happened to Mr. Johansson and his lovely family so they can be questioned about what happened to Brother Pete and the churches money, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they can. In his name be praised, Amen.

Now let us stand and join sister Janet in singing hymn number five thirty eight, Awake, my soul, stretch every nerve. Take it away sister Janet.

THE END

Advertisements
  1. May 14, 2012 at 6:12 am

    Great article about Multi Level Marketing. You have done a nice work.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: