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Fever

January 30, 2015 Leave a comment

This was my entry for the Eclectic Voices January Writers Challenge.
#monolouge #fiction #humor #fantasy #flashfiction #ff

Eclectic Voices

stockvault-open-bar110012Part of January’s Writing Challenge: 

You wake up, or gain consciousness, in a different body. What? How? Why? What do you do now? 

A Monologue By Jeff Folschinsky

Barfly

I blame everything on the song “Fever.” The one Peggy Lee sang back in the stone age. There was something about it that—oh, hell I don’t know. It just had some kind of effect on me. Maybe it was because my Mom always used to listen to it.

Okay, I can feel that look you’re giving me. I’m just talking about memories of a more pleasant time in my life, that’s all. Let’s not get all psychoanalytical here and try to make this into a gross Oedipus type thing. Why do people do that? It’s so infuriating. I mean I’m just trying to have a discussion here, and right out of the gate I feel like I’m being judged. I mean…

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Free eBook

January 23, 2015 Leave a comment

Japanese Macaque

Today only you can download Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkey for free at http://amzn.com/B00OO2I6K6

LINE!

January 15, 2015 Leave a comment

Eclectic Voices

stockvault-theater-128363a monologue by Jeff Folschinsky

ACTOR
As I look back at my life. I realize that… that… Ah Jesus, I know this. No really I do. I did the whole thing, from beginning to end at lunch today.

Christ. LINE! Hello?

Okay, yes I know we’re not supposed to do this at this point but I really need help. I’m blanking out for some reason and all these people staring at me is not helping.

Hello? Hello!

Oh, for crying out loud, can you throw me a life line here? I mean, yes, I know the director informed us you wouldn’t be doing this type of thing anymore but this is embarrassing.

Of course if you didn’t think you would be doing this anymore maybe you weren’t following me in the script. Is that it? Are you trying to find out where I am right now? Should I just stand…

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Some Nice Customer Reviews of Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys

January 9, 2015 Leave a comment

IMG_1879Here are some nice reviews of my book Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys. Available at AMAZON. http://amzn.com/B00OO2I6K6

 

4.0 out of 5 stars A hilarious, unpredictable romp featuring a red-blooded Texan women vs. zombie monkies, January 8, 2015
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Tales From Little Lump – Night Of The Undead Snow Monkeys (Kindle Edition)
Gertie, who just happened to be out at the right time of night, shot down a hovering spaceship with her ground-to-air missile launcher (which she just happened to have). Instead of doing a great service for her community, she inadvertently released a radioactive alien waste into the nearby Japanese snow monkey sanctuary, turning all those cute creatures into tireless flesh-hungry zombies. Now Gertie has admirably step up to make amends for her mistake (although she really only has, like, 30% of the blame here) to try to rally the townsfolk and find a solution to their problem.

Yes, that’s all on the first few pages.

The story is an absurd ride told form the point of view of a gun-toting, Christian Texan. Her interjections and way of seeing the events as they unfold actually caused me to laugh a few times. The events seem surreal, and you never know whats around the corner as our intrepid “hero” lurches from one event to the next.

While the page count is low, the text was oddly tiny (easily fixed by just changing the font size on Kindle) so its a little bit longer than you’re probably thinking it is. That said, its still a short story that can be read handily in an hour or so. The writing was great, with a good sense of comedic timing and nice enough descriptions I wasn’t expecting much from the tale going in, but it was imaginative and very fun to read. Id recommend it!

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4.0 out of 5 stars Humorous Romp with a Touch of Horror, January 4, 2015
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Tales From Little Lump – Night Of The Undead Snow Monkeys (Kindle Edition)
“Tales from Little Lump: Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys” is a humorous romp; when gunslinging Gertie shoots an alien spaceship down over a Japanese snow monkey sanctuary, the result is a horde of flesh-hungry little creatures who overrun the town.

Gertie’s voice is distinct and delightful, and you can almost hear her twang coming off the page; she’s surprisingly no-nonsense for someone faced with an unexpected plague of the undead. I also liked how the absurdity of the story was written with a light hand and a lot of humor; often these kinds of books can get too silly, but “Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys” maintains a nice balance between convincing characters and a fantastical premise. My only quibble is that the book felt rather short; I guess technically it’s a short story, but I do wish it had been longer and had a bit more heft plot-wise. There’s a lot of unexplored havoc a band of zombie monkeys could wreak on a small town, and it could have been added a lot of fun with a thrill of campy horror.

In short, though, it’s “Gremlins” meets “Northern Exposure” in Texas–I’d recommend it as a short, fun read that will make you smile.

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