Home > Short Story > Musings of a Drunken @#$hole #1

Musings of a Drunken @#$hole #1

Glass of whiskey and ice isolated on white background

Here’s one for you.

See the corporate clown at the end of the bar? Well, he just fired someone today. How do I know? Because he’s drinking a Gin and Tonic. Gin and Tonics are always the preferred drink of clowns after they’ve stained their soul with one misdeed or another. They drink it down and smile afterwards, likes they just ingested some kind of liquid absolution.

To them, it’s as if the Gin and Tonic washes their stain clean away. Nothing more than waste waiting to be pissed out of their system, flushed away, and never to be thought of again.

I see a lot of clowns come through here. Each holding their drink, each with that stupid clown smile of theirs. Each believing they’re king of their own little clown universe.

Oh how I pity them.

I pity them because they are clowns, clowns worshipping at the alter of their corporate clown god. Who watches over them and laughs from on high. Laughs because he knowns the truth.

That no matter how hard the clown tries, no matter how many successes the clown might have, no matter how many other clowns they might push out of their way, in the end, no matter how much the clown aspires to be more what he currently is — well in the end he’ll always be nothing more than what his corporate clown god wants him to be, a clown.

And a clowns only real duty is to be amusing for his lord and master, so the clown dances his little dance and does his little routine. Day in and day out, and at the end of the day they end up here. Drinking their Gin and Tonics, like all the other good clowns.

I look around and see the clown I might have become, and thank the good lord that I never developed a taste for Gin and Tonic.

I look around and thank the good lord he made me a bourbon man. A bourbon man who’s in need of a refill.

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