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Posts Tagged ‘fun’

Casual Exploration

September 16, 2017 Leave a comment

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Are You A Really Fairy?

September 13, 2017 Leave a comment

FairiesAreReal

Glad my book is still entertaining people.

August 24, 2017 Leave a comment

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Dear Rodrick — Eclectic Voices

October 31, 2016 Leave a comment

Part of our annual Halloween issue. Read at the 2016 Lit Crawl. by Jeff Folschinsky Dear Rodrick, It’s with a heartfelt apology, that I must inform you that I will not be able to make it to this year’s festival of Samhain, or All Hallows Eve, as the provincials call it. Instead of enjoying the […]

via Dear Rodrick — Eclectic Voices

Some Nice Customer Reviews of Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys

January 9, 2015 Leave a comment

IMG_1879Here are some nice reviews of my book Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys. Available at AMAZON. http://amzn.com/B00OO2I6K6

 

4.0 out of 5 stars A hilarious, unpredictable romp featuring a red-blooded Texan women vs. zombie monkies, January 8, 2015
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This review is from: Tales From Little Lump – Night Of The Undead Snow Monkeys (Kindle Edition)
Gertie, who just happened to be out at the right time of night, shot down a hovering spaceship with her ground-to-air missile launcher (which she just happened to have). Instead of doing a great service for her community, she inadvertently released a radioactive alien waste into the nearby Japanese snow monkey sanctuary, turning all those cute creatures into tireless flesh-hungry zombies. Now Gertie has admirably step up to make amends for her mistake (although she really only has, like, 30% of the blame here) to try to rally the townsfolk and find a solution to their problem.

Yes, that’s all on the first few pages.

The story is an absurd ride told form the point of view of a gun-toting, Christian Texan. Her interjections and way of seeing the events as they unfold actually caused me to laugh a few times. The events seem surreal, and you never know whats around the corner as our intrepid “hero” lurches from one event to the next.

While the page count is low, the text was oddly tiny (easily fixed by just changing the font size on Kindle) so its a little bit longer than you’re probably thinking it is. That said, its still a short story that can be read handily in an hour or so. The writing was great, with a good sense of comedic timing and nice enough descriptions I wasn’t expecting much from the tale going in, but it was imaginative and very fun to read. Id recommend it!

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4.0 out of 5 stars Humorous Romp with a Touch of Horror, January 4, 2015
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This review is from: Tales From Little Lump – Night Of The Undead Snow Monkeys (Kindle Edition)
“Tales from Little Lump: Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys” is a humorous romp; when gunslinging Gertie shoots an alien spaceship down over a Japanese snow monkey sanctuary, the result is a horde of flesh-hungry little creatures who overrun the town.

Gertie’s voice is distinct and delightful, and you can almost hear her twang coming off the page; she’s surprisingly no-nonsense for someone faced with an unexpected plague of the undead. I also liked how the absurdity of the story was written with a light hand and a lot of humor; often these kinds of books can get too silly, but “Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys” maintains a nice balance between convincing characters and a fantastical premise. My only quibble is that the book felt rather short; I guess technically it’s a short story, but I do wish it had been longer and had a bit more heft plot-wise. There’s a lot of unexplored havoc a band of zombie monkeys could wreak on a small town, and it could have been added a lot of fun with a thrill of campy horror.

In short, though, it’s “Gremlins” meets “Northern Exposure” in Texas–I’d recommend it as a short, fun read that will make you smile.

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Transcript of Santa Claus’s Retirement Speech

December 7, 2012 1 comment

Transcript of Santa Claus’s Retirement Speechimages

Oh would everyone just shut the hell up! If I hear anymore of this fake sentimental crap I think I’m going to shoot someone and don’t think I can’t do it. If I can get toys to every kid in the world over night than you better be sure I can get my hands of a forty five, so everyone better watch their Butts.

Now, there’s been a lot of rumors about why I’m retiring after so many years. A lot of you think I’m being forced out by Hallmark who has a hard on for the Easter bunny.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. But how the hell they think that little pink heroine addict can take my place is beyond me. That’s right, I said it, your precious Easter Bunny likes chasing white rabbits, if you take my meaning? Huh, huh, oh well, I guess none of you people ever listened to Jefferson Airplane.

The simple truth is that I’m leaving because I need to spend more time with my primary business; being Satan. That’s right, I’m the devil. Satan, Santa, Santa, Satan, I’m really quite surprised no one’s figured it out before now. You people are really dense if you ask me.

Honestly, this whole Christmas gift giving thing was a PR stunt. Who knew it was going to take off the way it did? Not me, that’s for sure. The whole thing’s gotten out of control though and I think it’s time for some one else to get in the hot seat, so to speak.

So as I raise my glass I want to leave whoever takes my position with this final thought. Don’t ever develop a taste for venison, that sleigh is one heavy son of a bitch to push.

So in conclusion I just want to say to everyone. Merry Christmas to all and I’ll see you in hell really soon. Good night!

Transcript Ends