Posts Tagged ‘Monologue’

Enter to Win a Free Copy of Death and Other Fun Activities

April 26, 2018 Leave a comment


Enter for a chance to win a free copy of Mark Bate and Jeff Folschinsky’s comedic monologue book “Death and Other Fun Activities.”



The Promise — Eclectic Voices

August 17, 2016 Leave a comment

by Jeff Folschinsky Do you believe that there are things out there, that are beyond our understanding? Like for instance that the universe itself is capable of being a living, breathing entity. Able to affect the world around us in ways we could hardly understand? Nothing like God or the Devil mind you, but something […]

via The Promise — Eclectic Voices

Musings of a Drunken @#$hole #3

November 27, 2015 1 comment

FedoraI wonder; when exactly did we all become fearful of the fedora? Did the hipsters and the too-cool-for-schoolers get together and pass a mandate against it?

Did the seemingly superior fashion sense of our gay and ethnic counterparts being able to “Pull Off The Look” better, intimidate us and make us decided to abandon it?

I mean I wear mine not as a fashion statement, or as some poor pathetic attempt at raging against societal norms. No, I wear mine simply because its comfortable. It fits perfectly on my head, and does everything that a hat ought to do. Keeps the hair out of my face, and the sweat from my eyes.

A friend of mine attempted to theorize that it’s just plain old fashion, and doesn’t say anything about who we are now. I think about this theory as I look around the room and see a sea of baseball caps, and can’t help but wonder. What a cap turned backwards on the head of some drunken slob sitting next to me is trying to say, sporting a cap of a team he clearly doesn’t possess the athletic prowess play for.

Longing, perhaps?

Is that why the fedora is feared so? Not because it evokes longing of something we might  not ever have, but something we did have once; and lost.

Innocence, perhaps?

Maybe that’s why people look at me so strangely when I walk down the street. My hat reminds them of a more innocent time. A time when they had hopes and dreams, and anything was possible. Before compromise made it’s way into their life.

Compromises they made based on fear. Fear of what was or wasn’t thought about them, and why they even gave a crap to begin with.

Maybe that’s it, maybe that’s why the Fedora is feared so.

I’m not sure, but deep thoughts like this deserves another drink; don’t you think?

Musings of a Drunken @#$hole #2

November 9, 2015 Leave a comment

Glass of whiskeyHey, you look like you can relate to feminism. Me, I found myself relating more to it a few years back, when my ex-wife gave me a copy of ‘The Feminine Mystique.’  A joke on her part. How do I know this? Well, because it was accompanied by a Dear John letter, which was lovingly found inside a birthday card, which she attached to the book.

I read the book from cover to cover, because the last thing I wanted, was for her to have the satisfaction of thinking, “I just didn’t get it.” Unfortunately after reading it, I had to agreed with that hypnosis. I did indeed,  not get it.

Not that I didn’t get the book. It’s a lovely book. It really open my eyes, to problem between sexes. It made me want to read more. And the more that I read, the more I was horrified by the inequality of it all. That’s what I did not get. How did this happen? Or more specifically, how did this happen to me?

If anyone should have got it, I felt like it should have been me. I was alway surrounded by strong women in my family. My Ex was a strong woman, just like my mother, and my grandmother before her. If anyone should have got it, it should have been me. After marriage though, as a man, I found myself becoming the very problem in which these books outlined. The desire to have a woman at home, to take care of me, and the theoretical children that we might have had.

I would provide for her, and she would create a home. It was an unspoken pact which seemed to benefit us both. Why would she want anything more?  A concept as old as time, so it seemed. What I did not get, at the time, was the concept is a trap.

I philosophical joke, left for us, by the Universe itself.

We are man, and we rule over all. An overwhelmingly attractive idea; don’t you think? What’s not to get?

Don’t think so, huh, I can see it in your eyes.

I often thought, what would happen if the rolls suddenly reserved themselves? What would happen if the women took over? See if the oppressed became the oppressor. Watch, the fairer sex, slowly not become so fair anymore. Watch them, corrupt themselves, and find themselves in the mud of lost ideals. Maybe then, equality would be achieved. Maybe then, we would all finally, get it.

Who knows? Not me, that’s for sure.

I don’t know if get it, or if I ever got it. You look like a wise woman though, maybe if you can buy me a drink, and take me home afterwards. Well, maybe, just maybe, we can see if we can help each other, finally get it?

Musings of a Drunken @#$hole #1

October 26, 2015 Leave a comment
Glass of whiskey and ice isolated on white background

Here’s one for you.

See the corporate clown at the end of the bar? Well, he just fired someone today. How do I know? Because he’s drinking a Gin and Tonic. Gin and Tonics are always the preferred drink of clowns after they’ve stained their soul with one misdeed or another. They drink it down and smile afterwards, likes they just ingested some kind of liquid absolution.

To them, it’s as if the Gin and Tonic washes their stain clean away. Nothing more than waste waiting to be pissed out of their system, flushed away, and never to be thought of again.

I see a lot of clowns come through here. Each holding their drink, each with that stupid clown smile of theirs. Each believing they’re king of their own little clown universe.

Oh how I pity them.

I pity them because they are clowns, clowns worshipping at the alter of their corporate clown god. Who watches over them and laughs from on high. Laughs because he knowns the truth.

That no matter how hard the clown tries, no matter how many successes the clown might have, no matter how many other clowns they might push out of their way, in the end, no matter how much the clown aspires to be more what he currently is — well in the end he’ll always be nothing more than what his corporate clown god wants him to be, a clown.

And a clowns only real duty is to be amusing for his lord and master, so the clown dances his little dance and does his little routine. Day in and day out, and at the end of the day they end up here. Drinking their Gin and Tonics, like all the other good clowns.

I look around and see the clown I might have become, and thank the good lord that I never developed a taste for Gin and Tonic.

I look around and thank the good lord he made me a bourbon man. A bourbon man who’s in need of a refill.


January 30, 2015 Leave a comment

This was my entry for the Eclectic Voices January Writers Challenge.
#monolouge #fiction #humor #fantasy #flashfiction #ff

Eclectic Voices

stockvault-open-bar110012Part of January’s Writing Challenge: 

You wake up, or gain consciousness, in a different body. What? How? Why? What do you do now? 

A Monologue By Jeff Folschinsky


I blame everything on the song “Fever.” The one Peggy Lee sang back in the stone age. There was something about it that—oh, hell I don’t know. It just had some kind of effect on me. Maybe it was because my Mom always used to listen to it.

Okay, I can feel that look you’re giving me. I’m just talking about memories of a more pleasant time in my life, that’s all. Let’s not get all psychoanalytical here and try to make this into a gross Oedipus type thing. Why do people do that? It’s so infuriating. I mean I’m just trying to have a discussion here, and right out of the gate I feel like I’m being judged. I mean…

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January 15, 2015 Leave a comment

Eclectic Voices

stockvault-theater-128363a monologue by Jeff Folschinsky

As I look back at my life. I realize that… that… Ah Jesus, I know this. No really I do. I did the whole thing, from beginning to end at lunch today.

Christ. LINE! Hello?

Okay, yes I know we’re not supposed to do this at this point but I really need help. I’m blanking out for some reason and all these people staring at me is not helping.

Hello? Hello!

Oh, for crying out loud, can you throw me a life line here? I mean, yes, I know the director informed us you wouldn’t be doing this type of thing anymore but this is embarrassing.

Of course if you didn’t think you would be doing this anymore maybe you weren’t following me in the script. Is that it? Are you trying to find out where I am right now? Should I just stand…

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