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My play Legends of Little Lump is now available

August 10, 2017 Leave a comment

The play I wrote THE LEGENDS OF LITTLE LUMP that was based on my first book “Tales from Little Lump – Alien Season” is now available to be produced through Norman Maine  Plays. An edited down version that is safe for younger audience is available through their sister company Big Dog Plays.

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http://www.normanmaineplays.com/playdisplay.asp?playid=556

 

San Francisco Book Review gave Tales From Little Lump 4 out of 5 Stars

March 13, 2015 Leave a comment

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http://sanfranciscobookreview.com/2015/03/tales-from-little-lump-night-of-the-undead-snow-monkeys/

TALES FROM LITTLE LUMP – NIGHT OF THE UNDEAD SNOW MONKEYS

tales_from_little_lump_night_of_the_undead_snow_monkeysBy Jeff Folschinsky
CreateSpace, $0.99, 78 pages, Format: eBooks

4 Stars (4 / 5)Gertie is having a really bad day. Granted, it is partially her fault—she really shouldn’t have shot down those alien spacecraft, but how was she supposed to know they’d leak at toxic gas at the crash site? And was it her fault that the gas just happened to reanimate the snow monkeys killed by the crash? Really it isn’t fair that the monkeys won’t stop trying to eat her and Cousin Tommy. It doesn’t matter where in Little Lump Gertie and Cousin Tommy bunker down, the monkeys stay in hot pursuit. The monkeys follow them to the Domino Hall, where the pair get evicted for cheating. The monkeys tail them to the old Lignite mines, where Gertie forces her way into the Smigglys’ bunker by faking a heart attack. What do those persistent monkeys want? How can Gertie and Cousin Tommy rid Little Lump of the monkey menace?

Gertie is an entertaining narrator. A Texan lady of a certain age, Gertie has faith in her gun collection, including her holy rocket launcher, to keep her safe from any menace. If only she’d stocked up on more ammo. She’s sassy, bossy, undeterred by obstacles, and a hilarious commentator on the strange happenings in Little Lump. This short novel is the second in the series, Tales from Little Lump, and picks up immediately after the events in the first installment, Alien Season. It won’t be winning any literary awards, but it is diverting and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny. I particularly enjoyed the scene in the Domino Hall where, “if you don’t play, you don’t stay.” Nothing deters the old timers from their game, not even the repeated entreaties for help outside the door or the undead snow monkeys ripping out the air conditioner. If you’re looking for fun escape from a humdrum day, Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys is the book for you.

Reviewed by Tammy McCartney

Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys available at Amazon.

http://amzn.com/B00OO2I6K6

The Midwest Book Review review of Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys

February 2, 2015 Leave a comment

mbrTales from Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys got a great review from Midwest Book Review by D. Donovan, Senior eBook Reviewer, MBR

http://www.midwestbookreview.com/mbw/feb_15.htm#donovan

Tales from Little Lump: Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys
Jeff Folschinsky
Amazon Digital Services
ASIN: B00OO2I6K6 $0.99 www.amazon.com

It must be said that Jeff Folschinsky’s opening paragraphs for his writings are nothing but compelling: readers who like more than a light dose of humor injected into their sci-fi/horror won’t just feel compelled to continue – they’ll be grabbed by the collar and pulled in, as in the second ‘Tales from Little Lump’ collection, Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys: “I have to admit, Japanese snow monkeys are the most adorable things that I ever did lay my eyes on. It’s too bad that I had to start blowing them apart with my late husband’s, God rest his soul, 12-gauge Remington pump action shotgun; but what else are you supposed to do once they’ve turned undead?”

It’s a dilemma, indeed – and one which comes to life in a story of undead, cute but dangerous snow monkeys that plague the small town of Little Lump and create havoc for its residents.

Readers of the original Tales will know that aliens who came in peace were gunned down by an over-enthusiastic small Texas town’s determination to prevent invasion at all costs. But no prior familiarity is required for this continuation of the horror theme as the Texas shoot-em-up approach is applied to a greater horror in the form of undead cuties.

Gertie and Cousin Tommy are back, ammunition is running low, and tempers are high. Gertie tells the tale and minces no words in the process – which in itself is simply hilarious: “Cousin Tommy, in this day and age, what self-respecting Texan walks outside their front door without carrying a weapon?” “Never had any use for one until now,” he replied, while decapitating a monkey with his garden hoe. Isn’t that the way of things? People always think, oh, guns, yuck. But all of a sudden undead Japanese snow monkeys show up, and then everyone is whistling an entirely different tune.”

From a hot and heavy domino game where outsiders threatened by zombie monkeys are denied entrance to safety (“No, we’re not letting him in. We’re already playing with six people.”) to the question of why Japanese snow monkeys have appeared in Texas in the first place, Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys is simply uproarious from beginning to end.

And while, yes, this book is technically a stand-alone and requires little prior familiarity with its predecessor, newcomers will want to turn to the original Tales; because it’s there that protagonists and town makeup are given more background and history (plus, it’s equally side-splitting, to boot.)

If you’re looking for serious zombie apocalypse tales – look elsewhere. Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys requires that its readers have a funny bone in place – and then it tickles and tweaks it until the result is uproarious laughter: something very few horror books can claim to offer.

So go ahead – open the door, aim your weapon, and get ready to party with Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys. It promises a night you won’t forget, and is very highly recommended as a standout read.

James A. CoxEditor-in-ChiefMidwest Book Review 278 Orchard Drive Oregon, WI 53575-1129 phone: 1-608-835-7937 e-mail: mbr@execpc.com e-mail: mwbookrevw@aol.com http://www.midwestbookreview.com
MIDWESTBOOKREVIEW.COM

Fever

January 30, 2015 Leave a comment

This was my entry for the Eclectic Voices January Writers Challenge.
#monolouge #fiction #humor #fantasy #flashfiction #ff

Eclectic Voices

stockvault-open-bar110012Part of January’s Writing Challenge: 

You wake up, or gain consciousness, in a different body. What? How? Why? What do you do now? 

A Monologue By Jeff Folschinsky

Barfly

I blame everything on the song “Fever.” The one Peggy Lee sang back in the stone age. There was something about it that—oh, hell I don’t know. It just had some kind of effect on me. Maybe it was because my Mom always used to listen to it.

Okay, I can feel that look you’re giving me. I’m just talking about memories of a more pleasant time in my life, that’s all. Let’s not get all psychoanalytical here and try to make this into a gross Oedipus type thing. Why do people do that? It’s so infuriating. I mean I’m just trying to have a discussion here, and right out of the gate I feel like I’m being judged. I mean…

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Some Nice Customer Reviews of Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys

January 9, 2015 Leave a comment

IMG_1879Here are some nice reviews of my book Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys. Available at AMAZON. http://amzn.com/B00OO2I6K6

 

4.0 out of 5 stars A hilarious, unpredictable romp featuring a red-blooded Texan women vs. zombie monkies, January 8, 2015
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Tales From Little Lump – Night Of The Undead Snow Monkeys (Kindle Edition)
Gertie, who just happened to be out at the right time of night, shot down a hovering spaceship with her ground-to-air missile launcher (which she just happened to have). Instead of doing a great service for her community, she inadvertently released a radioactive alien waste into the nearby Japanese snow monkey sanctuary, turning all those cute creatures into tireless flesh-hungry zombies. Now Gertie has admirably step up to make amends for her mistake (although she really only has, like, 30% of the blame here) to try to rally the townsfolk and find a solution to their problem.

Yes, that’s all on the first few pages.

The story is an absurd ride told form the point of view of a gun-toting, Christian Texan. Her interjections and way of seeing the events as they unfold actually caused me to laugh a few times. The events seem surreal, and you never know whats around the corner as our intrepid “hero” lurches from one event to the next.

While the page count is low, the text was oddly tiny (easily fixed by just changing the font size on Kindle) so its a little bit longer than you’re probably thinking it is. That said, its still a short story that can be read handily in an hour or so. The writing was great, with a good sense of comedic timing and nice enough descriptions I wasn’t expecting much from the tale going in, but it was imaginative and very fun to read. Id recommend it!

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4.0 out of 5 stars Humorous Romp with a Touch of Horror, January 4, 2015
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Tales From Little Lump – Night Of The Undead Snow Monkeys (Kindle Edition)
“Tales from Little Lump: Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys” is a humorous romp; when gunslinging Gertie shoots an alien spaceship down over a Japanese snow monkey sanctuary, the result is a horde of flesh-hungry little creatures who overrun the town.

Gertie’s voice is distinct and delightful, and you can almost hear her twang coming off the page; she’s surprisingly no-nonsense for someone faced with an unexpected plague of the undead. I also liked how the absurdity of the story was written with a light hand and a lot of humor; often these kinds of books can get too silly, but “Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys” maintains a nice balance between convincing characters and a fantastical premise. My only quibble is that the book felt rather short; I guess technically it’s a short story, but I do wish it had been longer and had a bit more heft plot-wise. There’s a lot of unexplored havoc a band of zombie monkeys could wreak on a small town, and it could have been added a lot of fun with a thrill of campy horror.

In short, though, it’s “Gremlins” meets “Northern Exposure” in Texas–I’d recommend it as a short, fun read that will make you smile.

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New Life

November 8, 2014 2 comments

transparent_eggThe factory seemed like a perfect place. It had been abandoned many years ago, when building cars became more cost effective to do overseas. Aside from the occasional teenager showing up looking to get drunk, among others things, it remained pretty much devoid of any kind of life. That would change soon enough.

Another contraction came, they were coming faster than they were before. Jane put her bag down as carefully as she could, considering the pain she was under. She looked around and found an old mattress obviously left by someone who once called this place home. She worried for a moment that this old building might not be as abandoned as she first thought. She couldn’t worry about that at the moment though, because it was coming. By now she had learned to read the signs. It was coming and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She grabbed onto the old rusty steel column that the mattress was leaning up against and held herself over it in a squatting position. She learned through trial and error than she could’t sit or lay down when it happened. The pain was too much and through no fault of her own she would end up damaging it when it came out. Squatting the way she was, although hard and extremely uncomfortable was the only way it remained unharmed. She also found holding onto something, gave her a place to focus her pain as it happened.

She positioned herself so her skirt was out of the way as much as possible. She didn’t have to worry about undergarments as she had given up on them a long time ago. Her situation had made them completely impractical. Not fully understanding when or how it happened she found convenience won out over modesty.

The final contraction hit her. She knew it was coming because for a brief moment, the pain left her and all things became silent. Like time itself stopped and took a breath. Then as quickly as it stopped it came back. Hitting her, causing every part of her body to tense up, and then push, finally releasing what her body had been creating.

Jane held her position for a few moments. Every time this happened it was as if a little part of her was leaving her body. Almost as if she died a little each time, and as much as she prepared, it never got any easier.

She finally let go of the steel column and carefully moved back. Tears ran down her eyes as she saw the fruits of her labor. A perfect egg, just like all the others.

She carefully laid down beside it, trying to recover from her ordeal. After so many times she had perfected her technique, that serviced both her and the new life she had brought into this world. She carefully laid around it making a ‘U’ shape. Allowing her to let her body recover and providing much needed heat for the thing she had brought into the world.

She never like to think of them as things, but she quite honestly had no idea what they were. As of yet, none of them had hatched and she didn’t know what was inside of them. She did however know they were alive. The warmth that pulsated like a heartbeat were clear signs of this. Although it took her awhile to come to terms with this fact.

In the beginning when this first started happening she would simply destroy them, trying to hide what was happening to her. Every time she did this though, it was as if a part of her was disappearing. As if a hole developed in her that felt as if it never went away.

When she finally took the time to investigate them, and felt the life that was forming inside the protective shell that had come out of her. It was only then that she truly felt the weight of what she’s had done. The needless loss of life perpetrated by her own hands. All for the sake of preserving the vanity of a normal life that now seemed meaningless. The guilt was almost too much for her to take.

Her atonement as she thought of it. Was to leave this meaningless life she had once thought of as so sacred, and try to preserve as much of these creations of her’s as possible. Leaving her home, knowing she couldn’t keep her situation secret forever. Fearing if anyone ever found out about her and her eggs, it would surely come to no good. So she left trying to preserve as much life as possible. Not always being successful as tonight though. Many failed births have happened on her journey and she has mourned every one of them.

Tonight though was a success, and she took pride in her accomplishment. Smiling as she got closer to the new life she created. Putting her hand over it and feeling the chaotic sound and rhythm of new life forming inside.

Carefully she reached out and brought her bag over. Slowly taking out her previous successes. Eleven to date, this new one making an even dozen. She smiled thinking this was appropriate as she carefully laid them all next to each other, so they could welcome the new addition to their family.

Family; the word sounded nice to her. The thought that one day the life forming inside would one day come out of it’s shell, and she would be there to welcome them all.

It was a thought that comforted her as she fell asleep. Happily surrounded by her children.


 

Books by Jeff Folschinsky can be found at:

http://www.amazon.com/Jeff-Folschinsky/e/B00FJI1XZO

Tales From Little Lump – Night of the Undead Snow Monkeys is Available on Amazon

October 20, 2014 Leave a comment

 

The next book in the ‘Tales From Little Lump Series is available at http://amzn.com/B00OO2I6K6